Marcel Proust, “Combray"

As I began reading "Combray" I had to reread the first few pages. The sentences were long, and the narrator kept switching from his unconscious and consciousness. The length of the sentences were descriptive, and detailed making it easy for me to visualize the setting, but there was a lot that was unknown. Throughout the book, I made assumptions about the narrator and his life. Questions kept popping in my head about the narrators past and what led to his actions. I caught myself relating with the narrator like how I previously said the detailed sentences were making it easier to visualize myself in the book, and that was similar to the narrator as he also gets captivated with the books he reads as imagines himself as "what the book was talking about"(3). 

His insomnia was heavily highlighted throughout part one. I view the narrator as a person with severe anxiety. His thoughts are constantly jumping from one to another. His anxiety comes to light mostly at the thought of his mom not being able to give him a goodnight kiss. I wonder if his anxiety is brought from childhood trauma because his dreams always escape to his childhood. The narrator expressed his "childish terror" (4) with the memory of his great uncle pulling him by his curls. He also seems afraid of his father. This is shown when the father does not allow his mother to give him a kiss goodnight. In the scene where the narrator waits for his mom above the staircase to say goodnight, his mother seems afraid of what his father might say to their son as she tells him in a panic to go back to his room. His mom seems to be aware of his fathers resentment to his son's actions. 

His childhood experiences seem to be the cause of what his personality is today. His mind always wanders back to his childhood. His father's negative opinions of his son's night time ritual could have impacted the narrator's pressure to grow up and cause an unhealthy attachment to his mother. His mother is the only one who accepts his needs.This makes me question how much does childhood trauma and the pressure of maturity affect an individual?

Overall, “Combray" part one was a confusing read for me. I was left with so many unanswered questions. I wish the author had given us more insight into the narrator's past before these events.